Ask the Astrologer: Does My Chart Really Say I'm Fat, Lazy, and Unlucky?

Time for another Ask the Astrologer question! Once earlyish in the month and once around the middle of the month, I answer a question in a way that aligns with what you might hear in an actual astrological consultation. This is not your usual advice column, and not your usual astrology column, either.

To continue this as a twice a month feature, I need to hear from you! Currently, there are enough letters in the queue to keep it going til the middle of March. If I start hearing from more of you, it may even become a weekly feature. See the bottom of this post for ground rules and how to submit.

This post is my longest yet. It is a debunk post, which is one of my favorite kinds: I get to do a retake on shoddy astrological advice that the letter writer previously received. While I am happy to answer any kind of astrological question that follows the ground rules, I especially appreciate receiving second opinion questions.

Advisory to readers who are new to the language of astrology: this post, like the previous one, includes a lot about specific aspects and aspect patterns, and I do not have much space to explain what they are. If you are unfamiliar with any of the astrological terms, please refer to the astrological glossary.

An old friend of mine (really a frenemy) is studying astrology. She emailed me and offered to read my chart. She told me that I have two kites in my chart and a grand trine, and a Venus opposition to Jupiter. Because of that (she claimed), I am very unlucky, I have a very difficult life, I am lazy and fat, and my relationships will never last. 

Me being overweight was mentioned in regards to Venus opposition Jupiter. She said as I had Venus in opposition to Jupiter, I would eat a lot, especially sweet dishes, and therefore will face hormonal weight gain. She also said that Venus in the 12th house along with Sun may result in failed relationships and no happy relationships over my lifetime. I have a Taurus ascendant and grand trine with all water signs, which makes me lazy. My Jupiter is retrograde, so I won't be lucky in life. My grand trine is related to emotions, but the opposition in the kite is due to my Capricorn Moon. 

Birth chart: A.T.Placidus houses, true nodeSource of birth information: Hospital record

Birth chart: A.T.

Placidus houses, true node

Source of birth information: Hospital record

I am actually not fat at all. And I don’t like sweets. I don't have any relationship problems. I do fight with my parents and siblings, like we shout at each other and then after some time, we start laughing and amicably move on. I think that happens in almost every family. But there is one thing: I am not content with my relationship with my boyfriend. I want to move on, but he is in love with me, which makes me feel guilty, and I keep on continuing with him. I am more focused on my career and future generally, so he always complains about me being very unemotional. This is how I always am in [romantic] relationships.

 [Although my friend said] I am quite unlucky in life, I have never felt so, or maybe I am very optimistic. I think sometimes I have to work harder than everyone else, but then the rewards have also been very good and I have always been a high achiever in life.

Hope to get your second opinion on this. - A.T.

I sincerely hope that if your old frenemy decides to practice astrology professionally, she learns how to listen to clients first. People like her are exactly why every seasoned pro I know says that at least 50% of their practice consists of damage control.

Every birth chart placement has many possible meanings. Everyone’s birth chart has some potential meanings that are true for them and at least as many that are not. An astrologer’s job is not to tell the client every last potential they see, but to ask questions to determine which potentials are true, and use the chart as the basis for a conversation. If you were worried about your weight, your love life, etc., the chart could be a guide to what it would take to work through those issues. What it’s not is a harbinger of problems you don’t actually have.

All she got right was the placements in your chart (mostly). You do indeed have a grand trine kite (one, not two--your Saturn would be the head of a second kite if it had a planet in opposition to it, but it doesn’t), an opposition between Venus and Jupiter, both of which are retrograde (sounds like she forgot to mention your retrograde Venus!), and Venus and Sun in the twelfth house. 

You also have two t-squares, one of which includes your Venus/Jupiter opposition (your Moon squares them both, which is what makes it a t-square: two planets in opposition and a third in square to both of them). I’m surprised she didn’t mention those, because amateur astrologers who are determined to see bad omens in birth charts tend to zero in on hard aspects, of which a t-square is one of the hardest. And yes, Taurus is your rising sign and your grand trine, which links your Mars, Pluto, and Mercury, is in the water signs of Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces.

But your Moon is not part of the kite. That honor goes to your Uranus/Neptune conjunction in Capricorn. While your Moon is also in Capricorn, it’s too far--21 to 24 degrees--from an exact opposition with your Mars and exact sextiles to your Pluto and Mercury, to be part of that aspect. In astrology speak, we call that out of orb. Your Moon is the focal planet of a t-square (and your Sun is the focal planet of your other t-square), which is a juicy aspect pattern in its own right, but it has nothing to do with your kite, at least not directly.

Now, let’s take a closer look at your friend’s interpretation of your chart placements.

You won’t be lucky in life because your Jupiter is retrograde: Jupiter is retrograde four months out of every year. Consequently, one third of births take place during Jupiter retrograde. One third of the world’s population has a retrograde Jupiter in their birth chart. How realistic is it for all of that one third to be perpetually unlucky in life?

It is true that Jupiter is considered the luck planet. Wherever you have Jupiter in your chart, your fortunes get a boost. That holds true whether you have Jupiter retrograde or direct.* In your case, the area of your chart receiving Jupiter’s lucky boost is the sixth house: work, routines, duties. When Jupiter is in that house, you have to work for what you want. It doesn’t just come to you. But because Jupiter’s hand is on your work, when you work for something, your efforts are well rewarded. You have observed this yourself.

Your being a high achiever reflects your Capricorn Moon, and perhaps also reflects those two Capricorn planets at the head of your kite. Capricorn is an achievement-oriented sign. When that sign is emphasized, by virtue of having Sun, Moon, or another significant placement in it, there’s typically a strong motivation to achieve and willingness to work for it. That’s a recipe for being a high achiever. 

Capricorn, especially Capricorn Moon, also tends to bring a sense that life is difficult, and/or that you have to do everything yourself, and/or that you have to work harder than everyone else. Perhaps you really do need to work a little bit harder than others, but it’s also possible that you’re perceiving yourself as having to work even harder than is really necessary.

You are (or will be) fat: There are correlations with physical characteristics in a birth chart. Amateur astrologers rarely know to look at anything more than the ascendant, although if they’re well versed amateurs, they also know to consider the ascendant’s ruler and any planets that are conjunct the ascendant (within a few degrees of it) and/or in the first house. What they usually don’t know is that it’s much more complicated than that.

It is true that your rising sign has some correlation with your physical build. Taurus gives two main options: a very solid, stocky or voluptuous build, with a tendency to gain weight, or a slender, willowy build, usually with a long, elegant neck (Taurus rules the neck). But that’s just the Taurus rising piece of it. Your appearance is further modified by the other relevant factors. 

You don’t have any planets in your first house or conjunct your ascendant, so moving on to your ascendant’s ruler: that’s Venus, which is placed in Aries, giving it Aries characteristics. Physically, Aries tends to be lean, and sometimes a muscular, athletic type. So here we have one testimony in favor of a lean build and one testimony that could go two ways: in favor of you being thin, or in favor of you being stocky or, yes, even fat.

But according to Judith Hill, who wrote a whole book on this,** the ascendant and its ruler are not necessarily the predominant astrological influences on a person’s appearance. She puts Moon at the top of that list, especially in females’ charts, followed by ascendant and its ruler, then Sun sign with some caveats. So, again, we must look at Capricorn. If your build is influenced by Capricorn, the possibilities are similar to Taurus. You might have big bones (Capricorn rules the bones) and a large, beefy or stocky build. Or you might be quite thin, with either sharp or petite features. Or you might be some combination of those, and/or the other possibilities mentioned above. Your Aries Sun, meanwhile, reinforces the Aries picture that your Venus provides.

There’s even more to it than that, but in the interests of space, I’m stopping here. If you want to know all the factors, read Hill’s book. Suffice it to say that while your chart allows you a slight possibility of being fat, most of its testimonies go the other way. Odds are you are not fat.

Venus opposite Jupiter makes you like sweets and eat too many and gain weight: If it were a conjunction,*** especially in your Taurean first house, I would be much more inclined to believe that. Taurus is the earthiest earth sign, and can manifest as a generously round earth mother type or a well built earth man figure. Jupiter is expansive. Whatever Jupiter touches, it enlarges. Jupiter in the first would correlate with a big body, or a tendency to gain weight, or both. If it were conjunct Venus, which loves everything beautiful--in flavor as well as in looks--then yes, a taste for rich and sweet foods would be more likely, especially if Moon were also involved (more on that below).

An opposition, which you have between your Venus in Aries and your Jupiter in Libra, neither of which is in your first house, is very different from a conjunction. The energies of planets in opposition are at constant tug-of-war. They want very different things, because they’re channeling opposite signs. Aries wants to just get up and go, do something. Libra wants to consider both sides of every equation first. Aries is assertive and will easily stand up for self. Libra insists on keeping the peace, sometimes at all costs. When it comes to food tastes, Aries likes spicy food and bold flavors. Libra has a sensitive palate and will seek balanced and nuanced flavors. Neither of those signs correlates with any particular liking for sweets.****

But neither Venus nor Jupiter is the primary influencer of food tastes. That role is Moon’s. Since your Moon is in a t-square with your Venus and your Jupiter, all three may have some say over your food preferences, but since no two of them are in signs with compatible messages, you might not be manifesting any of them particularly strongly. Perhaps you don’t particularly like spicy food or have a particularly sensitive palate. If any one of the three signs in that t-square does show strongly in your food preferences, I expect it to be Capricorn.

Capricorn’s approach to food, like its approach to anything, is thoroughly practical: eat what makes sense, in sensible amounts. If there is a food taste correlated with Capricorn, it would be simple food, with mostly savory and umami flavors and, probably, plenty of vegetables. Capricorn is also a sign that does well with restrictions. If you have any reason to restrict your diet--health, religious, or moral reasons--Capricorn Moon is one of the placements that has the easiest time with that. 

But nothing in your chart suggests any particular liking for sweets. If anything, it’s the opposite. And because you have that Capricorn Moon square Jupiter, the excesses of Jupiter get reigned in some, especially when it comes to Moon things such as food.

Your Taurus ascendant and water grand trine make you lazy: Poor Taurus gets repeatedly stereotyped as a lazy sign. In reality, Taurus is a hard worker, but not, adamantly not, willing to do unnecessary work. Taurus is the tortoise in the race against the hare: slow and steady, conserving energy. Taurus is Ferdinand the bull, who insists on sitting under the tree and smelling the flowers instead of fighting a losing battle in the ring. Because Taurus won’t expend effort without seeing good reason to, people who strongly manifest Taurus--particularly through the rising sign, which is how you meet the world--tend to get unjustly labeled lazy.

Since you also have quick and impulsive Aries as your Sun sign, and as the placement of chart ruler Venus, your actual approach to things is likely to be a combination of Aries and Taurus: slow and unmovable in some situations, quick to act in others. Either way, it isn’t laziness.

Neither does your grand trine make you lazy. It gives you the option of being lazy, in a certain way, but it doesn’t mean you are lazy.

Trines are smooth flowing energy, between planets that “want” the same thing and team up in everything. A grand trine is an even more powerful version. Whatever is represented by planets in trine comes very easily to you, with no need for effort on your part. This effortless luck becomes extraordinary effortless luck when it’s a grand trine. For you, it comes in the social arena, because your grand trine is in the social houses: the third (siblings, neighbors, local society), the seventh (partnerships), and the eleventh (groups, friends, associates, wider community). Water signs facilitate empathy and connection. I expect that you easily connect with others and fit into social groups without having to make any effort to do so.

The laziness that can come from a grand trine is the kind that comes from taking things for granted. Perhaps you make good use of your gift for interpersonal connection, to facilitate your own personal growth and/or to help others. Perhaps you just bask in it. The second scenario is the kind of laziness your grand trine offers you the opportunity for. It’s an insidious kind of laziness, because it doesn’t really look or feel lazy. The result is a lack of personal growth, not lack of work getting done, which is usually how lazy gets defined.

Even that kind of laziness tends to get stopped by hard aspects (squares and oppositions) sharing the chart, especially if there’s a square or opposition to at least one of the planets in the grand trine. You have such an opposition in your kite. On top of that, the planets in that opposition form a t-square with your Sun, and you have another t-square, too, which we’ve discussed. This is not a lazy chart at all.

Venus in the twelfth house along with Sun means relationships will never last or be happy: All the twelfth house placement means for your relationships is that you need your privacy. Even in an intimate relationship, you’re likely to always need your own space and have certain things that you keep private even from your partner. As long as you allow yourself that, and your partner allows you that, it won’t harm the relationship at all.

There is another side to the story: the twelfth house is the House of Self Undoing. If your friend was thinking, “Venus--relationship planet--twelfth house,” she could’ve drawn the conclusion that your relationships would always self destruct. The twelfth house is actually much more nuanced than that, despite the scary name, and while Venus does show your general style of relating, it doesn’t have much say in the actual quality of your relationships when it’s not in, and doesn’t rule, your seventh house.

Your Scorpio seventh house has two rulers to choose from: Mars, the traditional ruler of Scorpio, and Pluto, the modern one, which is also the only planet you have in your seventh house. Pluto, and Scorpio, indicates that relationships can, and should, be very deeply transformative for you. They also have great potential to become a source of power struggles. Which is likely why you have frenemies.

Your Mars placement also suggests frenemies. Cancer’s style of fighting (Mars represents how and why we fight) is a very stereotypically feminine one: catty, passive aggressive, playing the martyr. Mars in Cancer is the archetype of the frenemy. Incidentally, Cancer also represents the family. Your description of your interactions with your family fits Mars perfectly.

So your relationships are not necessarily unhappy and not necessarily doomed to fail, but if they’re full of passive aggressions and power struggles, that’s what will sink them. A likely life lesson for you is learning how to handle the Mars and Pluto in you, and in the people you have relationships with, in healthy ways. It’s possible you already have learned this lesson. I can’t tell where you are with it based on your chart. But that you described this person who read your chart as your frenemy, tells me that you still have at least one relationship that’s based on this unhealthy Mars/Pluto manifestation.

Your discontent in your romantic relationships is likely connected to your Mars and Pluto as well--rather, to how you relate (or don’t relate) to them. Those planets, along with your Mercury, are your water sign planets. They provide you with deep emotions, empathy, and the urge to merge with another.

But the rest of your chart is very different from that. Capricorn Moon is very non-emotional, practical, keeps her head when everyone else is melting down and wonders what all the fuss is about. Moon is how we filter our emotions. Taurus rising, while having a certain sensitivity, is also very self contained. Aries Sun is too busy doing things to bother being emotional. My guess is that for the most part, you don’t experience yourself as an emotional or sensitive person. 

When you’re in a relationship, especially a romantic one, that’s when your emotional and sensitive side surfaces. If you’re reacting by becoming distant and unemotional, you’re denying the emotions that relationships stir up in you. Yet, you draw people in who want to share emotional connections (that gift for connection you have!) and who likely have a strong urge to merge of their own. Your seventh house represents the kind of partner you need and attract, and Scorpio is the sign with the strongest desire for very deep intimacy.

As you can see, chart interpretation is very complex. I hope this begins to answer your questions!





*The real meaning of retrograde planets is a whole other subject. In some ways, they function even more strongly than if they were direct, but in a more personal way. In other ways, they may not manifest as strongly or as obviously. In his popular astrology primer The Inner Sky, Steven Forrest says that Jupiter retrograde in a birth chart confers “[d]eeply rooted inner faith. May produce a very serious exterior. May inhibit emotional openness.” He does not say anything about luck or lack thereof with Jupiter retrograde. Neither, as far as I know, does any other reputable astrologer.

**The Astrological Body Types: Face, Form, and Expression by Judith Hill

***A trine between those planets, with one of them in the first house, might also do it, especially if both were in signs with a tendency for indulgence. Self indulgent Leo and self expansive Sagittarius would fit the picture. Or maybe Pisces, which shares a certain expansive quality with its traditional ruler, Jupiter, and the Moon-ruled Cancer. Taurus also has a certain indulgent tendency, but Virgo and Capricorn, which are the signs that trine Taurus, do not.

****According to Hill, Venus does correlate with a particular liking for sweets. The more Venusian a birth chart is, the more likely it is that the native has a serious sweet tooth. Venus ruling the ascendant is one factor in making a chart Venusian, but it’s not enough all by itself. For the chart to really be Venusian, Venus would have to be in a sign where she can shine (Taurus, Libra, or Pisces would be best; Venus falls in Aries, meaning her message is rather muted) and a house where she shows clearly (nothing shows clearly from the twelfth house), conjunct the Sun and/or in any aspect with the Moon (this Venus is not), and/or be a singleton or part of a stellium or something like that (none of the above here). Plus, this Venus is retrograde. It is NOT a very Venusian chart.

It also helps a sweet tooth develop if Moon is in one of Venus’s favorite signs or her own home sign of Cancer, and/or has a harmonious aspect (trine or sextile) with Venus, or is in the same sign as Venus. None of that applies here, either.

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